"F" is for Family (or Freaky)

Today was "F" day at preschool.

Ms. Heather has a daily routine for her students. They walk in, find their spot at a table, and write their name on a slip of paper. Once finished, they bring their names to the front of the class and choose whether to put their name in the Yes column or the No column....depending on their answer to the Question of the Day.

Today's question: "Do you have a little brother or sister?"

The correct answer: No

Curtis' answer: Yes

Ms. Heather kindly tried to reassure the lad that he did not have any little siblings. To which he replied (quite forcefully), "Marble Joe is very, very small!"

Wow. I thought he'd forgotten about Marble Joe. Apparently not. To make things more interesting, Marble Joe had stowed away to preschool in Curtis' backpack as well. And...Curtis was fairly intent on showing Marble Joe to everyone at Show-and-Tell that very day. Oh dear.

I departed and left Ms. Heather on her own to deal with my child's delusions. Fair? Perhaps not. She later told me that she was slightly concerned that the other children would force Curtis to defend his belief about his "little brother" (which could be bad for all involved) but was surprised when all 10 of them nodded along with Curtis' presentation of his "F"amily.

Go figure.

I Wish I Could Say This Was For Halloween

The Tale of Halloween Toil

Once upon a time, in a home not too far away, there lived three beautiful children and their adoring parents. One day the oldest child, Lindy, approached her mother with an idea.

"Mother dear, I would just LOVE to be a pirate for Halloween this year. Not an ugly, mean pirate, but a nice beautiful pirate. Can I, can I, pleeeeeaaaaaase?"

"Of course," the mother said, "I think your eye-rolling, scowling pre-teeness is exactly perfect for a pirate costume!"

Lindy rolled her eyes towards her mother and bounded happily away. No costume at the stores or online would satisfy the required needs of Lindy's costume. During a quick trip to the local lobby of hobbies, the "perfect" costume pattern was chosen, and her mother soon toiled away to create a "nice and beautiful" pirate costume for her beloved eldest daughter.

When Ellie, the middle child, saw the completed pirate costume, she begged, "Oh please, mother, may I also have the costume of my dreams? A purple cheerleader costume with big shiny pom-poms, and a large purple bow in my hair?"

"I would just LOVE to help you find this purple costume. Even if it means I must stitch every stitch myself...let's DO IT!" her mother cooed, as she vomited a little in her mouth.

And it was soon(ish) done. A fantastically purple cheerleading costume and one bouncy, jumping, cheerful girl to don it. (Along with some big shiny pom-poms, courtesy of the Searle girls.)

As the females around him chatted incessantly about girly costume matters, Curtis, the youngest and only boy in the family, decided to let his mother pick up whatever she could find at Costco. 

"Oh, thank heavens for little boys." the mother sighed as she grabbed the first costume she could find. 

And Curtis was thrilled, for this particular costume came with an eye patch, earring, and SWORD (his love of weaponry being the clincher). He expressed his appreciation by offering his mother pirate grimaces rather than smiles in practically every photo she took.

The children were soon ready for the neighborhood Trunk-or-Treat. Things were touch-and-go for a moment as the "nice" pirate and the "I'm-so-tough-I-could-cut-my-own-throat" pirate may have had some differences of opinions.

But they soon found common ground as they turned their wretched pirate-ness on the happy cheerleader. 

But, since she was really only there to cheer on their piratical adventures, they soon welcomed her into their scurvy crew.

As the three children skipped happily down the street toward the potential treasure-trove of sugary goodness, their mother contentedly nursed the pin-prick wounds on her fingers, wiped the sweat from her brow, and vowed to NEVER sew another Halloween costume again.

The End.

Red Ribbon Week

It was "Red Ribbon Week" at our Elementary School this week. It was something the girls were SUPER excited about...which means, of course, that mom forgot.

Monday: "Red Day - Not Just For a Day, But For Life" - Wear Something Red.

Mondays are not our best days in general. Throw something out of the ordinary at us and we don't usually respond well. I don't think either of them wore anything even close to the color red. '

Fail.

Tuesday: "Crazy if You Do Drugs" - Crazy Hair Day

While we managed some fantastic hairdos, the girls were 20 minutes late for school. I didn't plan for the exorbitant amount of time needed to braid this much hair. 

Fail. 

But I did get some great pictures: less of a fail.

Wednesday: "Turn Your Back on Drugs!" - Wear Your Clothes Backwards

The goal was to wear your clothes backwards. We joked all week that Wednesday would be the day Ellie actually wore her clothes the right way! (She has a habit of putting most of her clothes on backwards each and every time she gets dressed. She has even worn her underwear backwards from time to time. Usually I am able to catch her and get her to swap it around...but not always.) But no...she wore them the true backwards way. Pants and all. 

Lindy struggled to find something that didn't irritate her. (And by "irritate" I mean "reduce her to mind-numbing tears.) It was touch-and-go for a while. For all of us. Finally she found a shirt that didn't make her turn into a screaming banshee and we were go for Backwards Day. (And on time for school.) Phew!

But no pictures. Slight fail. 

I'll just take some pictures of Ellie tomorrow. Recovery!

Thursday: "Hats Off to Being Drug Free!" - Hat Day

We've been through Hat Day before. Thus I was fairly convinced that we had at least one usable hat available to us already. I picked up an additional hat at the Walmart for Ellie and figured we were good. My bad. I've been a mom long enough to know that when you buy something new for one child, the other is bound to feel that the universe has cheated them. 

Fail.

However, our Ellie is our easy-going child (most of the time) and happily donned a different hat to let her sister celebrate Hat Day with the newly-purchased "cute" hat.

(Note to self: buy another hat (the same hat) right now and save them both for next year. Done.)

Friday: "Patriotic Day: Take a Stand For a Drug Free Land!" - Wear Red, White, or Blue.

Not the most exciting day...but easily accomplished with their existing wardrobe. 

No tears. 

They made it to school on time. 

No need for pictures.

And...it's over.

Awesome.

The Other Brother

So...we've had this problem. Not a big problem...just sort of a creepy, slightly morbid, problem.

You see, Curtis has spent the last few months telling everyone about his brother.

His dead brother.

Who died.

(I know, creepy, right?)

He has embellished this story for many people. He has added details and descriptions that continue to astound and amaze us. (His brother used to pester him at night with his pokey fingers. His brother is up in Heaven watching Curtis to make sure no bad guys get him. His brother doesn't like macaroni and cheese.) But the basis of the story has remained unchanged: He had a brother who is no longer with us. I've argued with him, trying to convince him that I truly never gave birth to another boy. His answer to that was that his brother had another mom. Who, of course, died.

(Remind me, when my son is in therapy years from now, that I should have seen it coming.)

Today the story changed in a bizarre and unexpected manner. Today we found a broken marble.

Meet Joe. Marble Joe.

He is, apparently, Curtis' brother. And we have been regaled with new stories about his brother Joe who, as you can see, is no longer dead.

(Good grief, the therapist bills are going to be astronomical.)