Memories

I may not always have stories worth repeating. Most of them are simply the day-to-day musings of a stay-at-home mom. But before I was the well-rounded adult you all know now...I was a single girl, over the age of 21, living in Utah Valley. These 3 facts led to one of the most memorable nights I've ever experienced.

It all began with a phone call from a desperate woman. A mom. A kind woman looking for her son's soulmate. And somehow it happened...for better or for worse I was going on a blind date. Friday at 7:00pm.

I sat in my front room, primped and ready to go, promptly at seven. I watched as the minutes ticked by...7:15, 7:30, 7:45. Finally at 8:03pm the phone rang. He was held up at work. An unforeseen delay...but he'd be on his way shortly.

At 8:45 the doorbell rang. When he announced, "Well, you're prettier than I thought you'd be," I had a feeling my night was doomed. (Had I known how far we'd slither down the rabbit hole of blind-date craziness, I'm sure I would have slammed the door on his face--a face which, as a matter of fact, was NOT as good looking as I'd thought.) Two red flags popped up immediately...a license plate frame which read, "Oh her? She's my sister." and an Ernie doll (Sesame Street) glued to his dashboard. Ernie is his hero "because he's a drummer"...I kid you not. Those red flags were piled on top of the previously ignored flags...and off we went.

He had big plans. A jaunt up the canyon to roast marshmallows and get to know one another. We pulled into his picnic-site of choice only moments before the official closing time. "Not a problem" he declared optimistically, "let's just start the fire. No one will show up." I began gathering kindling from the surrounding area and returned just in time to see him getting into an argument with a couple of rough-looking, shady characters in a jacked-up truck. After a few tense moments the truck drove off, leaving me alone with Captain Boy Scout.

We worked together to make a decent pile of sticks and he set a match to a wad of newspaper I'd thrown in the middle. As I leaned over, blowing faintly at the tinder in an attempt to get it roaring I was jolted back by a sudden ball of fire. Sweet mother of a badger!...he'd snuck in from behind and tossed in a stream of lighter fluid! Swatting the flames from my eyebrows and hair, I stood to witness his triumphant smile. He had made fire.

And that's when the police arrived to kick us out.

The rest is mostly a blur. I'm not sure if I was in shock from nearly being roasted alive over an open flame or from the after-effects of a date gone wrong, but the truth is I only remember one thing from that long drive home: Me. Staring in disbelief as he reached down, situated a puppet (yes, you read that right...a PUPPET) on his right hand, and asked me (with said PUPPET) if I would come watch his band play the next night.

I'm pretty sure I said no.