Tender Mercies

I hope that when I get up to heaven and stand before the judgement seat I will be granted forgiveness for the many, many, many, times I've said, "Why did I have children?" I wish that I didn't have to admit that I ask myself this question daily...but I think I do. I told myself a couple months ago that I needed to cut myself a little slack. I decided that if I reached the end of the day and I was still alive...it was a success! I know, it's pathetic to measure success on the basis of whether I am able to breath in and out, but that was my plan.

However, in spite of this recent slack-cutting, most of the time I feel I've reached the end of my rope. Success (as I've defined it personally) doesn't feel much like success when I find myself crying my eyes out at the end of the day because I know that I've behaved like the world's worst mother for the last 16 hours. And I wonder why I try.

But then there are moments like these:

A little girl who was supposed to be getting ready for bed dresses up like a beautiful princess and comes downstairs with the brightest smile just to show her mommy how pretty she is. These are the moments Heavenly Father has granted to this particular mom as a gift. I get to wrap my arms around a precious child and just laugh with her, love her, tell her what a gorgeous princess she is, and feel like perhaps this wonderous moment is the answer. This is why I have children.