Tonight our home was visited by a crazed, grudge-bearing, super-mutant fly. That's right, folks. Apparently a vat of growth hormone was left unattended somewhere and a fly fell in. He buzzed right over to my house and decided to chill out on my kitchen table. (Ewwww, gross!) At first I tried a humane approach. I gently tried to shoo him out the open window. That just seemed to make him mad because he then spent the next several minutes DIVE BOMBING my head! (I am not making this up.)
Next, I grabbed the fly-swatter and tried to let my insect-hunting skills dominate the battle. I managed to hit him a couple times but he KEPT ON BUZZING. I could almost hear his little evil fly-chuckle taunting me with each swing. I almost lost hope, but with one final desperate flick I was able to stun him. As he reeled with confusion I glimpsed the perfect opportunity to end it once and for all. I picked up the dish he'd landed on and dumped him down the garbage disposal. "Die, you stupid fly, DIE!" As I triumphantly listened to the gurgling hum of the disposal at work I turned around to see my husband wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
Chivalry is dead. It's a good thing that I'm handy with a garbage disposal.
11 comments:
I am dying laughing! That story rivals rabid robin! So funny! Ame...I seriously think you need to be a writer! I felt like I was there! :)
Phew. Glad to hear you got him. There's nothing worse than the annoying buzz of an uncatchable fly.
Not sure I've ever killed one with the garbage disposal. Impressive.
Don't you mean Garbarator? :)
You are so hilarious!! I loved the detailed account and have recently had similar experiences as well, although not with the actual garbage disposal :)
I'll have to try the disposal next time. His brother visited our house last week and I just locked him in the bathroom.
LOVED the post! Yes -- I've been guilty of putting flies down the "bug grinder" as well. Dish towel sized rags make THE best fly swatters, although it does add to the laundry.
Tara B
Thats great!! I do the disposal thing with spiders.
LOL that story is great one! Believe it or not I have done similar things... then again I remember "catching" flies with my brother whom would pluck a hair from my head and make a leash for the fly... ew. What was I thinking!?!
laughing right now, glad you showed him who was boss!
I am laughing so hard right now! Sheesh Amy, you really bring a smile to my face! I love ya! Poor fly! I bet if you ask Lindy she can tell you the latest as seen only on TV fly repelant too!
I can't believe your a fly killer! MURDERER! I slam doors on folks like you!
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